I hear this repeat over and over in my head today. Stuck like a song heard right before I fall asleep that keeps playing as the new morning comes. It’s been coming at me for about a week now but I’ve been able to shrug it off in hopes it would disappear the busier and more consumed I became with “things” that needed to be done. I’ve read this verse and heard it at church and in my earlier quiet times but I do exactly the opposite of what it is calling to me do…
“Come to me”
“Sit with me”
“Those things are not important now”
Where are these words coming from that keep popping up in my head? As I hear them, I keep thinking there’s NO TIME! I have so much to do before the kids come home from school and SG wakes from her nap. Who has time to stop when there’s a house and a family to manage? Doesn’t that voice know that Coach works over 80 hours a week so the rest is up to me? So I keep rushing around getting laundry finished, dinner prepped and in the crock pot, checking Facebook and our team website just in case I miss any updates about the team so I can keep up with Coach. The dishwasher is clean again and Courtney’s volleyball uniform needs to be washed before her match tonight. Oh shoot, I’ve got a baby and wedding shower to help prep for and that’s right, Easter is at our house this year! Have I sold any Nerium lately? Keep gooooooooing, Angela.
But there’s that quiet voice again and before the lies of the Evil one can steal me away in busyness I hear,
“You need rest”
“You cannot do this alone”
“Those things are not important”
So, I finally stopped, took my laptop out to blog and it feels so awkward. Maybe a little music will help. Maybe sitting outside will slow things down and help clear away the racing thoughts. A cup of tea always relaxes me but not today. Blogging has been an outlet for me this past year and something I feel The Lord has laid on my heart to do yet, I don’t do it enough to suit him I think. My body is exhausted and shakes from the non-stop week of volleyball matches, practices, doctor appointments, baseball games, and visitors that have been here. I don’t sleep when our life gets overly consuming with things like this so I’m sure that adds to the fatigue. And I’m too aware that what is happening is not good for me now. My body is fighting against the rush, the hurriedness, and the need to carry out everything on my todo list. I know that voice I keep hearing is right and there’s only one place I can find rest.
You see, I know this kind of lifestyle works for many people. My husband included. Coach can sleep 4 hours a night for a week straight and it does not affect him one bit. He can stay up late, go to work all day and then do it all over again without fail. At times it blows my mind. By the end of that run he usually hits a wall and passes out and sleeps about 10 hours after a long stretch of practices and games. But here’s what I’ve come to learn in my 13 years of marriage and 11 years of parenting, that kind of lifestyle does not work for me. I was a competitive athlete and coach since I was 9 years old, basking in the ups and downs and sleepless nights after losing or winning a game. The interviews, the traveling, the recruiting, you name it and I lived it. But The Lord decided 3 years ago that He had a new calling for my heart after what I call a “spiritual awakening” aka, breakdown. I didn’t listen when He told me to slow down and the rush, the perfectionism, the need to please, the never-ending to do list finally took its toll. Being married into this lifestyle can be crazy at times but I am going to learn to be that coach’s wife who balances rest with busyness. Well, at least I’m going to keep trying my very best.
The Bible places high value on rest and peaceful living. During Jesus’ earthly ministry, He Himself escaped the busyness of the crowds occasionally to renew His strength. Mark 6:31 says, “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to [His disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” It is difficult, if not impossible, for us to hear God’s still, quiet voice over the roar of the 21st-century crowds, so, like Jesus, we must make time to rest and hear from our Lord.
Believe me, as a stay at home mom I can get frustrated with the comments of, ” You have it so easy” and “What honestly do you do all day?” It’s equivalent to when people ask me if all Coach does is “coach?” There is so much more that goes into both of our jobs and until you walk down that path it’s hard to understand.
You would think staying at home would give me all the time in the world to rest and for some moms, maybe it does. For this lady, that list-maker, find another thing to say “yes” to mama, add another thing to my plate to help someone else out person, that is something I battle with daily, weekly, and monthly . I still carry the mentality of a coach and live and breathe with the 56-game schedule of the baseball coach I married. My oldest plays a spring sport, that I coach and LOVE ferociously so I ask God for grace during this stretch of the season when we’re all tired. My family sees me set the pace and lead by example. What kind of mom would I be if I set the standard of never slowing down and taking minute to collect myself in a place of quiet and rest? A tired one for sure.
Now it’s my turn to pray that I’ll listen better as he answers and tells me to slow down before exhaustion sets in. You see, God provides for us when we ask. Just like a coach, He is always ready to sit and listen and give when we are thirsty, overwhelmed, and tired. He mentors us, He guides us, He replenishes the empty. The world will beg for us to keep pushing, keep gutting it out, keep sucking it up and to do it all by ourselves. The timeout has already been called but it’s up to us to answer to His whistle.